Sun May XXIX
Not a lot happened. Tired after Last Night.
One of the downsides to joining the youth group, other than having to eat a large portion of humble pie when I found out that they weren’t all freaks, was that meetings tended to finish rather later than I was used to. Although I was never that keen on going to bed, once I was old enough to read in bed until I felt tired I developed a whole new evening routine – hot drink around 8.30pm, shower at 9pm and in bed reading at 9.30pm. That seemed to suit me and evenings out with the youth group did disrupt that.
Even so, an admission of tiredness was a rare thing for me, and still would be. When you grow up a tall, thin, gangly, spotty, bespectacled teenager, you quickly learn not to admit to any weaknesses. As a result I’m not very good at admitting to being tired, or ill, or wrong (to name but three).
There’s an upside to this. Because I don’t let myself admit to these things, I find that I very rarely am tired or ill. Which is not the same as saying that I believe in any ‘power of positive thinking’ nonsense. I just find that I can talk myself out of feeling certain ways*.
I do still get things wrong, though. I know I am not very good at admitting that, at least in specific instances, and I probably never will be. Sometimes the old defences are hardest to break down.
*This year I am trying to talk myself out of suffering from hay fever